I am often asked since our E went to hang out with Jesus what am I doing now? What am I doing with my time? Warning: I don’t answer this question very truthfully usually. I’m a little vague. Because, honestly, I’m 99.9% sure not a soul really wants to know what I’m doing with my time. The things that fill a day after someone leaves us are downright heartbreaking; they leave us over and over again each moment when we have to deal with all the things and the days after. Call me if you find yourself in these shoes. We can talk about what it is I’m doing with my time.
Truth is, I’m still a mom. I like being a mom. I will tell anyone I am ‘just a mom.’ Simply the word ‘just’ a mom will cause outrage and feedback and all kinds of ‘oh, you are so much more’ comments. But, just a mom is who I am. And it’s my happy place.
I have prayed many times through the years for God to put me in places I wished to work and thrive. When I look back I find he did just that. In my youth I had goals of being a physical therapist. Look closely, I spent every day of the last 21 years doing physical therapy with someone I love. I prayed for a job, any job, in the medical field when I thought physical therapy wasn’t going to work out. Through the years and an intense past couple I’ve learned and done more hands on nursing than many nurses. (Thanks to the patient teaching of our own skilled nurses.) And, that included living through the night shift in the hospital with our guy. I wanted to work in so many situations and God always provided them right within my own life. I maybe did not get a paycheck or work that nine-to-five, but I have lived my dreams. I have thrived in my place.
So now, I am a mom. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. My kids and I (and the sweet husband) are healing together. I trust God has me being here, present in this place, for His purpose and plan exactly like the all years before. And I will thrive here once again. What am I doing? I’m just a mom. And I love it.