We Are Broken and That’s Okay

“Let’s get him a walker in here so he can walk wherever he wants.” ~ our Attending Doctor while in the hospital this latest go ’round.

If this doctor truly knew my guy he would know his most favorite saying. “No walk today. Whomp, whomp.” You see, he has absolutely no desire (or ability) to ‘walk wherever he wants.’ Ride? Sure, let’s go. He wants to ride all day long in Target. But, walk? “No, thank you.”, he says quite politely. We are broken and we are learning that’s okay.

Photo property of Stephanie McKeever

So many equate being home with being well. If we aren’t in the hospital everything must be going great. There must be no more illness, no more daily nausea, no more wheelchair, no more cancer.

No. There is still daily checking for fevers. There is still often daily sickness. Walking will never be the same; walking may never be. Our lives were altered long ago by disability. Cancer took us right up next to the edge of not okay anymore.

This doctor wanted the best for our guy. He was one of the best we’ve had in a while since leaving our favorite hospital floor filled with favorite people. He searched for the best answers. But, while he did come to sit in the chair in our hospital room, he kept to that chair in the corner. Close, but not too close. Our pain is real. It’s the kind of pain that hurts hearts, not just bodies. Doctors learn early you shouldn’t take someone else’s pain home at night. The really good ones still do. They come close. Closer than the chair in the corner. Boy, am I thankful I know some of these doctors. (Don’t think I’m not praying this new one will soon be one in the same.)

Truth is, I’m not one to get too close to people either. Hold them at arm’s length is an easy way to live life. I want others to know this Jesus I know. But, it’s sometimes easier to lob little bits of Him rather than give them full on Jesus. It’s the same with us. We are easier to take in little bits and pieces. You get the full us and, whoa. We can be too much to handle.

Are we too much?

Christ came to give his whole self to us. “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28 NIV) Does he call me to give just a part of me, of us? Or am I asked to give our whole selves, our whole, yet broken selves? Ann Voskamp’s most recent book series has spoken to the multiplying in the breaking. When something breaks there is more of it. What do I hope to see when I give less of me; only a part of the Jesus I know?

Come close. There is a whole lotta broken here. Special needs broke us a long time a go. Come over. Cancer took us to the edge where we had to hang on to only Jesus. You will find sickness here. Some days it’s downright nasty. (Who am I kidding? Most days we deal in the gross.) But in our broken I hope you find the whole Jesus multiplying. We are not okay. And that’s okay.

 

Read this and more at: Key Ministry

8 thoughts on “We Are Broken and That’s Okay

  1. Thank you. God used you to add more words to something He and I have been conversing about for two days. I am greatly broken and the thought of pouring out into new lives (AKA new neighbors who have not arrived yet) is honestly exhausting. But…they need Jesus, and so I will pour. And apparently I will do it from many more places. Hugs to you and yours.

    We are close in Jesus,

    Francee

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So very blessed by your snippets of truth and how you can touch my heart! Close, but not too close? Mmm, I pray my inability to always know just the right thing to say or do never comes off as not desiring to get get into the muck and mess of life in loving others! ‘Cause truth be told… I’m usually the biggest bumblin’ mess! Love you and your E… and C …and M and all of the McK’s!!! 💕

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s