“My own personal Hell.” “I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.” “You have no idea what I’m living.”
How many times lately have I heard someone else say these things? I’ve said at the very least
every day “I’m done!”, if not something similar to the others. It seems like a lot of people lately are going through things that they wouldn’t wish on their own worst enemy.
I don’t like strife. I don’t like living it. I don’t like being involved in it and I don’t want any part of it. I will run from it at the first warning sign. I want the good life. Easy Street. Fame and fortune. I would bet most of us prefer things this way.
Too bad that usually isn’t what brings us closer to Christ.
If given the choice I would be alternating swimming laps in the pool on a warm, sunny day with reading a good book while frying my fragile skin in the sun’s rays. All. By. My. Self.
Thanking God for my incredible husband and family didn’t make that list. Tending to my family’s needs didn’t make that list. Asking the Holy Spirit to be involved in my family’s day didn’t make that list. Crying out to Jesus didn’t make that list. Even thanking God for my comfort and joy didn’t make that list. Prayer of any kind whatsoever didn’t make that list.
So is it any wonder that God keeps me close to him through trials? I know I can be pretty adept at creating my own imperfect circumstances. But I also believe sometimes God allows things to happen in our lives to better us or bring us closer to him. No, they aren’t our definition of “the good life”. They are difficult. They are the hard stuff in life. They mess up everything about our routine, our work, our families. But they bring us closer to Christ.
This can be a bitter pill to swallow. Going through trials are never easy. And it can be even worse sitting by while a loved one goes through a painful trial without any way to make it easier for them. Understanding that whole “my ways are not your ways” can be truly difficult. But for lack of a better word, I have this “peace” that there are bigger things going on than my trials.
So I’m learning to get more comfortable with the tough stuff. That doesn’t mean I like it. That doesn’t mean I don’t react irrationally first. But I’m learning to roll with it. I’m learning to look for what God has planned in it. When the unexpected shows up. When I just don’t see any change. How is he drawing me closer to him? How quickly can I get back to where I feel his comfort?
It’s just a closer walk with Thee …
Bible Verse I’m Loving Today:
2 Chronicles 6:19